Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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