How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
soo... how was my night?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
