Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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