Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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