how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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