We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
