mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
