Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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