she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
