His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
