We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
