when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
