First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
