He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
