Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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