Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
