she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
