I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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