My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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