I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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