Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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