porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
