Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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