also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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