She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
