ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
