If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize