Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
