Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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