dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i came on her dog
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
