sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
