i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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