we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
