he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
