bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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