I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
