i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
