All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
