No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
