That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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