I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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