I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
