I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
