You made me cry and you don't even care
id be glad to
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
