I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
