I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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