Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
