So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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