i jhust puked up my retainher.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize