He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
