Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize