I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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