She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
