Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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