i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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