I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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