I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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