i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
