My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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