That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
