Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
