okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
