Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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