I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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