Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
