Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
