pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
